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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

How to Gross Out Your Coworkers

So now I have a short story to gross people out. Today I found Miss Hermione chewing on a rock. So far, I have collected a coffee can full of rocks out of the flower beds in front of our house. Now I don't want her eating rocks and end up needing to go to the vet. So, being the concerned daddy that I am, I go to get the rock out of her mouth. I reach in get the rock and pull it out. I open up my hand and what do I see? Cat shit! She was having herself a little turd snack. She must have just scared the shit outta Tigger...Literally. Nothing nastier than getting cat shit on your hand. I wonder where she learns these things? Maybe she's been talking to Mows. So if anyone out there would like to use this story to gross out their coworkers, be my guest. Just remember to use proper timing. I have found that for maximum effectiveness, it works best to tell this story when people are about to eat. For a little something extra, sniff your fingers when you finish telling the story. A winning combination I guarantee. Aah, the fun you can have at the expense of others. It's almost limitless.

greasemonkey1320 at 3:07 AM

3 People who tried the chili

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


This is Fred. Fred is 9 years old and on my foot. Which is probly why he faded so bad. I keep thinking about having him touched up too. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 1:15 PM

5 People who tried the chili


This one I had done When I was 18 also, but at a shop in Wisconsin. There is actually an old branding that didn't take underneath it. I think that's why the hair ended up having little spots in it. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 1:13 PM

5 People who tried the chili


I was 21 or 22 when I had this one done.I ended up having it done in two different sessions, outline then color.I think it took the guy something like 3 hours total to finish it. Yes, yes the one towards the bottom is a tatto of a roof truss.I had that done 8 years ago. A year after I got hired at my job.The people I work with are cotinually amased by it.Alot of them never really notice it. Then they see it and start asking questions. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 1:09 PM

7 People who tried the chili


This is my first "professional" tattoo.I had it done in a local shop when I was 18.I knew a couple of the people that worked there at the time, which made for some nice discounts.You can see where it scabbed up real bad and pulled out the ink.I've been thinking about having it touched up.Maybe sharpen up the edges. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 12:59 PM

5 People who tried the chili


This is another one of my tattoos.I think I was about 21 when I had this one done.You can still see some of the white in it, but the red is starting to fade out in the stripes.this one is actually a cover up of another tattoo I had done early. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 12:53 PM

5 People who tried the chili

Friday, June 10, 2005


Daddy's little demon girl Hermione. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 6:09 AM

2 People who tried the chili


Most recent tattoo, engine. This is Jessica posting for the Bobble, I am sure he will add more story to this himself when he gets time. Summer time is busy season at work, he is a building machine. Posted by Hello

greasemonkey1320 at 6:09 AM

1 People who tried the chili

Friday, June 03, 2005

Damaged Goods

So, I finally went to the doctor today to get my wrist checked out. Turns out I have a torn ligament. That might explain the sharp pains I get once in awhile. No fractures, carpal tunnel, or tennis elbow. The doctor says I should wear a brace for a few weeks so it can heal. Makes sense.

I had the pleasure of sitting and waiting for an hour before them came and got me. That was nice. There was some lady in her 40's yackin' on her cellphone about how bad her herpes were. That's right kids... herpes. She wasn't discreet about it or anything. Nope, loud as hell bitchin' about how she has chanckers on top of chanckers. Just think, one out of every five people has the herp. Eeeeww. It was amusing to watch people get up and sit on the other side of the room. You know now when you see someone with a cold sore, you're gonna start counting. One, two, three, four, herpes. One, two, three, four, herpes.

As for me, I get a slightly extended weekend, which is always a good thing. Maybe I'll actuall figure out more things to post about. Just as long as I can dodge the pinches and defend my tender spots.

greasemonkey1320 at 4:41 AM

10 People who tried the chili