Friday, July 07, 2006
Are We on COPS?
Sometimes I just don't believe some of the shit I see happening on a daily basis. Take today for example. I was driving to work when I came up behind this 4x4 Ford Ranger. There was this skinny trailer trash looking guy sitting in the bed of the truck, something which is illegal in these parts.I followed behind them for awhile. The guy just sat there staring off into the distance. Way out in la la land somewhere. I changed lanes a mile or so later, still about a car length behind the truck. The guy in the bed starts looking around like he's searching his pockets for something. Moments later he pulls his head up, pops a joint in his mouth, and starts puffing away. I have to admit, I was kind of surprised to see that at two in the afternoon on one of the busiest streets in town.
A few more miles down the road the cake got it's icing. From some side street a squad car came up behind me. Seconds later I hear a whoop whoop and see the cherry top spinning. I look over at the truck and low and behold there was that guy, doobie still hanging of his lip. Something tells me I wasn't the one about to be pulled over.
I also noticed today that the price of getting fucked in the ass... I mean a gallon of gas took a dime sized jump. Aren't these fuckers rich enough? The retiring chair of Exxon, Lee Raymond, is being forced to survive on a meager retirement fund of approximately 400 million dollars. I feel so sorry for him. No, no I really do. Honest.
But any how, it got me thinking about alternative fuels. Something that would still make good power and work with my cars. I thought about it. Ponder the possibilities. Then it came to me. Have you ever seen the old Ford valve covers that say "Powered By Ford"? It won't be Ford any more. Nope. Powered By Satan is what popped into my head. Make it a true hotrod from hell. I can hear it now.
Them: " Whatcha got under the hood?"
Me: "Pure evil."
Them: " How many cubic inches?"
Me: " 666 c.i.d."
Them: " What's it run on?"
Me: " Tortured souls of the eternally damned."
Them: " Wanna race?"
Me: " Care to make a little wager? I'm almost on empty."
greasemonkey1320 at 4:49 AM