Saturday, April 30, 2005
I thought we were in the clear. A year and a half in our new home and all is well. 10:15 this morning I heard a knock at the front door. At first I try to ignore it and go back to sleep. There's another knock. The sound of people knock on my door while I'm sleeping fuckin' annoys the hell outta me. So I get up to answer the door. I peer though the tiny gap in the tint on the front door. I see two guys in black suits, walking down the sfront walk. I figure I'd see what they wanted. Maybe it was something important. We've had the sheriff's department come by looking for people before, maybe I could re-inform them that no this person does not live here. That way they can send over a patrol car two days later to ask me the same thing. So I open the door. I should have known when I saw the two canes attached to his wrists. It didn't hit me until he turned, and I saw the black book in his other hand. Ah shit! It's the Witnesses! I bet it was that garden gnome looking fucker from work. I bet he called them and asked them to come and see his friend, real early in the morning. Fortunately, I have a secret weapon. I look like hell when I wake up. Hair twangin' all over, sleep lines on my face,unable to focus one eye, or even open the other one completely. There I stand just got the pants on, no shirt on, tattoos all over. Yeah, I really look like I want to convert and leave behind my wayward ways. Yeah right, thats gonna happen! The guy looked kinda uncomfortable when he was talking. He asked me if he woke me. No shit dumbass! No, actually I look Like this all the time! He then proceeded to tell me who he was and what he was doing. Yeah. I'm sure I looked real interested. He then said he would come by at some later time. Some later time when I'm more awake . Yeah, I'll be more awake alright. Awake enough to not open the door! I'm kind of curious as to what it is that tells people that it's a good idea to door to door trying to sell the idea of their faith and their god. It could have been worse I guess. It could have been Prince at my door! The artist currently known as nuts!greasemonkey1320 at 10:30 AM
6 People who found a peppercorn
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at 3:23 PM
Candy said... Baby You really should of come and got me, I didnt have a shirt on either and I can promise you they wouldnt of come back after that.
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at 5:34 PM
said... OMG too funny. I think you'll really appreciate this:
My dad likes to talk to the witnesses. He thinks their 'interesting'. My mom HATES them at her house taking up HER time. Once they came over and my dad wasent there. They asked for my dad by name, and told her how much they enjoy talking with her husband, blah,blah,blah. She told him my dad wasent home. They asked when he would be back. She tells them: I dont know, he's at mass with his girlfriend.
They have yet to come back.-
at 2:39 AM
Madame D said...
Noooo!!! Not the Witnesses!
Better than the Missionaries.
Barely.
They travel in pairs.-
at 6:32 PM
Katy Barzedor said...
Aaaaaah, you guys are amateurs.
Just keep a jar of urine near the front door, or better yet, a spray bottle full of urine. Douse uninvited visitors liberally. Works wonders on Jay-sus Hucksters.
Also dampens the ambitions of Girl Scouts, in case anyone wondered.-
at 6:51 AM
Zombie_Flyboy said...
I like the way you think Bucky.
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at 11:27 PM
Zombie_Flyboy said...
I like the new look and your 666/chainsaw banner are really cool.
Very kick ass.