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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Return of the bobble

Hello everyone! I am back after a short outbreak of pint-sized invaders and a couple broken parts. It was nice to have the nieces around for a couple days, even though they were chock full of booger cooties. Most of the time they can be easily convinced to terrorize someone other than me. A little eye shadow every now and again keeps them happy too. The younger of them now informs people that the rumors are true, I am indeed, made out of money. Of course, when you're 3, it's totally possible to buy the entire aisle of Hello Kitty with $2. It's nice though, they can all tell me what they want and they understand what people say to them. No diaper changin' either. Thats one thing I 've never had to do and don't plan on doing any time soon. I've heard the horror stories and do not wish to be taken down by a wayward stream of pee.

The broken parts segment of the weekend really wasn't that long. 5 to 6 hours tops. Just a new dual exhuast system for the truck. I would have been a breeze if it weren't for that damn bolt that broke and took almost 2 hours to remove. This is the kind of shit where the labor part of the bill adds up. That one bolt chewed up 6 drill bits, two "easy out bolt extractors, and a pair of generic vise-grips. The toughest part on any old car usually end up being a 30 year old nut or bolt. Something easy to reach... with the tip of a finger ...if you're a contorsionist. Fortunatly all my knuckles and fingers were spared. My face on the other hand, must have caught every piece of rust and dirt that fell off the truck. Putting it all back together didn't take long at all. Except for the fact of the kit that they sent me was about 4 feet to long. Just a slight modification with the saws-all.

Now I have 2 shiny new glasspacks to defend my self against annoying teenagers and their plastic weed whacker drivin' asses. My truck sits up high enough that the exhuast tips are right at the same level of the windows of these lowered cars. The sound of the pipes reverberates nicely of the sides of cars I pass too. They got the bass that will rattle their trunk lids, I got the bass that will make'em gag. Kind of warms your heart ... with carbon monoxide.

It is written. I have spoken. So put this in your pipe and smoke it! Ooo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!

greasemonkey1320 at 5:17 AM

7 People who tried the chili

7 People who found a peppercorn

at 6:11 AM Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

First off, you and your woman are evil incarnate with your fucking earworm songs! Thanks. I started work 10 minutes ago, and I can look forward to a day of Witch Fucking Doctor in my head. Oo ee oo indeed, motherfucker.

Second, do not ever give in on the diaper thing. I, too, have escaped ever ever changing a diaper, and unless Jim gets feeble faster than I expect, I have no plans to ever change a diaper either.

Finally: huh huh you said "glasspack" huh huh huh

 
at 9:54 AM Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ooooh. Monster truck. Gas 'em all.

 
at 10:30 AM Blogger Madame D said...

Nice. Fucking teenages with their stupid ass Hondas and Mazdas, all lowered and zooming around with their lawnmower motors, but hot damn, they've got the pretty little paint jobs and nice tires that means a speedbump will take out their entire undercarriage...
Right.
Gas 'em all.
I love me a monster truck. Especially with glasspacks.
Get on with your teenager harrassing self.

 
at 5:08 PM Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

Your truck sounds badass. You should put up some picks of you running over the dumbasses who annoy you.

Nah, scratch that, put up some video footage. That way, we can hear you singing the Witch Doctor song while you turn dipshits into people pancakes.

Later!

 
at 6:37 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love when she says your made of money, its the cutest thing ever, well cept for you.

You and that truck of doom, come on tell them why you really like it, how it makes my boobies jiggle and bounce, fess up perv boy. How its up to high you have to put your hands on my ass to lift me up into it.

Dang it, I miss you baby.

 
at 4:14 AM Blogger greasemonkey1320 said...

You better believe it! It's probly the best boobie jiggler I have aside from myself. Oh wait, I'm technically the boobie juggler.

 
at 4:18 AM Blogger greasemonkey1320 said...

You want evil? I got yer evil!
Umpa doompa dupidy doo! Beware the curse of the Umpa Loompa.

 

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