<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d12143241\x26blogName\x3dThe+One+Armed+Man+Headquarters\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://bobbleheadhillbilly.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://bobbleheadhillbilly.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8621569923472770057', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Sunday, May 29, 2005

100 Things About Me

Since I do not post very often, do to a lack of what I deem to be interesting subject matter, Jessica Rabbit has suggested that I make a list of 100 things about myself. So sit back, relax, and prepare to be assaulted by that which is the Bobblehead.

  1. I enjoy stinky things like skunks and egg farts, but I can't stand the smell of fat person b.o.
  2. I rip ass all the time, I'm just really sneaky about it sometimes.
  3. I have manners, just a different version.
  4. I have never owned a vehicle built after I was born.
  5. I have owned 4 cars and 2 trucks.
  6. I still have 1 car and both trucks, only one of the 3 runs.
  7. At one point I owned 5 vehicles, all of which didn't run.
  8. Not having a functioning vehicle freaks me out.
  9. I can rationalize owning a half dozen different vehicles.
  10. I hate car dealerships and their mechanics.
  11. I own automotive tools that were built in the 60's.
  12. I have no brand name loyalty when it comes to cars and trucks, they all have their strengths and weaknesses.
  13. I prefer IHRA over NASCAR. Actually, NASCAR just sucks.
  14. I will never buy a Mustang or a Camaro. Ever.
  15. I hate "tuners".
  16. I define hillbilly and redneck as two entirely different things.
  17. I am not a redneck.
  18. I smoked for 10 years or so.
  19. I quit over 2 years ago.
  20. My hands have a mind of their own.
  21. I love boobs.
  22. I love hiney.
  23. I cant control myself from squeezing JR's boobs and hiney. I have no shame about this, as it happens in public. Alot.
  24. I too, am a pervert, and have had several 3-somes.
  25. JR will fuck your girlfriend, and I'll help.
  26. I am a "boner donor".
  27. I suffer from " protien deficeincy", and a shortage of post-it notes.
  28. I've done naughty things in dark rooms at parties while listening to people looking for me.
  29. I will walk around in public with a big red kiss print on my forehead, then I'll stare at you like your fuckin' goofy.
  30. I constantly have grease in my hair, actually it's Groom & Clean.
  31. JR dyes my hair for me.
  32. The guy I have cut my hair is almost 70. He has a lazy eye and he shaves the back of my neck with a straight razor.
  33. I prefer the old two sided safety razors versus all these new multi-blade deals.
  34. I have 10 tattoos and plan on getting alot more.
  35. None of them are from flash off the wall.
  36. I have a spider named Fred tattooed on my foot.
  37. I have no piercing except for my ears, which at one point I gauged them out to 7/16ths of an inch.
  38. I will never get my dick pierced. It's big enough already.
  39. I have been intentionally burned with red hot steel.
  40. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.
  41. That was back when I had a big purple mohawk.
  42. I horde things. All sorts of things, canned goods, car parts, you name it. I once had 4 milk crates filled entirely with ramen noodles.
  43. Sometimes I am obsessed about organizing things.
  44. I enjoy cleaning.
  45. If I need something done, and I don't know how to do it, I'll learn how to do it.
  46. I have been told I'm a workaholic.
  47. I don't think thats a bad thing, I'm just motivated.
  48. Speaking of being motivated... I love coffee or maybe it's just the caffine talking.
  49. I never miss work or take "sick days" unless I'm really, really ill and JR holds me down and makes me stay home. She always takes good care of me.
  50. I've worked at the same place for almost 10 years.
  51. I don't like working overtime.
  52. I would rather do something myself than pay someone else to do it for me.
  53. I prefer quality over quantity. That goes for girls, tools, and many other things.
  54. 5 of our 12 cats are mine. Bobbles and Eleven are traitors.
  55. I constantly threaten to eat the cats with a little teriyaki sauce. That's probly why some of them always smell like they peed on themselves.
  56. I really like meat. Beef, turkey, chicken, fish, rabbit, no pork though. Pork is just fuckin' nasty. Anyway, isn't human the other white meat?
  57. I love to use my grill. It makes me really happy.
  58. I prefer charcoal over gas any day.
  59. Most of my clothes consist of jeans, t-shirts, and work uniforms.
  60. I have something like 72 pairs of socks. All the same kind.
  61. I love the feeling of a brand new pair of socks.
  62. I have 100's of car magazines and their all organized in binders.
  63. I enjoy welding.
  64. I would love to have a custom car shop. Like a personal paradise. With no morons.
  65. I have a small collection of belt buckles. 6 so far.
  66. I have a guitar and a bass, neither of which I am very good at.
  67. I used to ride a skateboard in a red plaid skirt with no drawers on.
  68. I enjoy shitty B-movies. I find the low-buck effects more interesting, and seriously who can pass on cheesy story lines and shitty plots?
  69. Disney movies annoy me.
  70. I don't practice any form of religion.
  71. I don't like christmas.
  72. I hate junkies, crackheads, alcoholics, and "born agains".
  73. I love the Munsters and all sorts of old horror movies.
  74. I collect various sizes of die cast and model cars, and I play with them all.
  75. I have never flown in a airplane.
  76. I've never been outside the U.S., except for Canada, which I don't really count as a foreign country.
  77. I carry a machete in my truck, cause you never know when you'll run across a pack of zombies. What? It could happen.
  78. I often can not stop from taunting JR with "Watcha gonna do about it?", then find out that the answer is indeed pinches.
  79. She offered to stop the pinches all together, but I declined because I would miss them.
  80. I have no desire to have children. We have a catch and release program.
  81. I have no interest in main stream society, what's fashionable, or what's trendy.
  82. I don't like Elvis, nor do I look like him.
  83. I find Elvis impersonators amusing.
  84. It's taken me 2 days to go this far on this list.
  85. I type really slow.
  86. I'm not very computer friendly.
  87. I hate my neighbors.
  88. I would like to live on the outskirts of a town kind of in the country.
  89. I don't what to get ass-probed.
  90. Yes, I believe in aliens. They're perverts too.
  91. I like to experiment and see what the cats will eat. Wobbles likes the lime popsicles, and Weebles likes toes.
  92. I have driven over the longest bridge in the world. It's only 2 lanes wide.
  93. I like drawing and designing things.
  94. I am Principal Nick. Watch out for spin the bottle.
  95. I once made out with 5 girls at the same time. Two of them were sisters.
  96. I grew up in Wisconsin, as did JR.
  97. JR and I have the same age difference as my parents.
  98. JR got me addicted to sushi.
  99. It wasn't me, it was the one armed man.
  100. I have the best girlfriend in the world.

So there it is. A hundred things about me. The bad thing is I actually forgot about some of this and JR reminded me. It's the effects of the protien defiency.

greasemonkey1320 at 3:44 AM

8 People who tried the chili

8 People who found a peppercorn

at 5:11 AM Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

But...but...where did the protein go?

 
at 4:06 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a wonderful list! Love your blog!

 
at 4:21 PM Blogger Candy said...

You are a total sicko. And I love you. And stop feeding the cats popsicles in bed. Damn it.

 
at 4:34 PM Blogger Squirl said...

I really like your list. Number 66 (no that's not a typo) is my favorite. I also have a guitar and bass. I'm not very good at either.

 
at 1:03 AM Blogger lowercase callie said...

And another B-movie suggestion, (which I wouldn't be surprised if you've already seen), which is sort of opposite to the one Kris suggested, is Zardoz. And if you see Zardoz, of course you have to see Barbarella, too. Both awesome movies.

Oh and good job with the ending of smoking and whatnot!

 
at 1:53 AM Blogger Candy said...

I made him watch Barberella when we were dating, everyone needs to see that movie at least once. And he sorta had to quit smoking, I dont allow it in the house and I have asthma. Plus, its just yucky.

I didnt make him, but I sure was happy about it.

I did however make him go outside in the cold and snow after sex to smoke if he wanted to do it. Heh.

 
at 8:28 AM Blogger Madame D said...

One Armed Man=The Fugitive!
Right now, I have the one armed dragon. Damned train and its propensity for eating things. It ate a dragon and a half, as well as my favorite silver pen. (Okay, like the fifth one of the same style I'd bought.)
I do like this list. Makes me want to do another. Though, I'm probably running out of things by now...

 
at 4:40 AM Blogger greasemonkey1320 said...

Bucky-It has been rumored that the protein makes a wonderful conditioner.
Squirl-I would probly be better if I actually practiced.
Meggan-I got a couple more for ya. Terror Toons and Killer Clowns from Outerspace.
Kris-Nope, nothing to do with Twin Peaks, however, I did enjoy that show. Not the movie so much though.
Goofball-I thought the acting in Barberella was very amusing,and what was up with the "whole essence of man"?
JR-You were quite helpful and patient when I quit smoking. I can only imagine what a pain in the ass I was.
MadameD-The One Armed Man is always a fugitive, on the lam from the pinches.

 

Post a Comment