Friday, August 26, 2005
Self Amusement
The daily grind can be boring and cause the mind to wander.Wandering off to places far more interesting than the present point in time. Sometimes I find myself pondering new and interesting lines of work. Here are acouple of them.- Working in a kustom car shop. That one is pretty self- explanitory, considering my love of old cars and such.
- Being a repoman-"Most people spend their lives avoiding tense situations. The repoman spends his life getting into tense sitiations."
- Funny car driver. I'd take a front engine flopper over a rear engine dragster any day. It's a bit heavy on the cross country driving though. I prefer having a soft bed with warm hiney every night.
- Grave digger. This would be cool in title alone. Last time I checked it still involves alot of shoveling. That and I prefer working at night,which might make for some odd inquiries from passers-by.
- Lumberjack. How could you go wrong?Flannel, axes, and chain saws, just gotta watch out for the "lonely" lumberjacks.
- Special effects technician. Three words. Blowing shit up.
- Crime scene photographer. There is some fuckin' weird shit going on out there that alot of people never see or hear about.
- Demolition worker. Good for pent up aggression.
- Mad scientist. I don't think there are a whole lot of them left. That and how could anyone pass up the crazy twangin' white hair.
- Junkyard owner. I see endless possibilities with this one. I think this one would work well with most of the other jobs. Then I could eventually have every car I've ever wanted, and have a legal place to keep them all without pissing off the local code officers. Hell, my own personal car crusher? Nearly endless supply off parts and donor cars? Oh yeah, I think I could handle that.
greasemonkey1320 at 11:02 PM
9 People who found a peppercorn
-
at 8:32 AM
Katy Barzedor said... Wow, I couldn't get into the comments for this post this morning. I though maybe blogger had visited its curse on the Bobblehead, too. Glad to see it ain't so.
I think you've gotta watch the girl lumberjacks, too. They'll violate you with that axe handle faster that you can scream "TIMBER!" And nobody needs a splintery sphincter.-
at 2:35 AM
greasemonkey1320 said...
How do you tell the girl lumberjacks from the guy lumberjacks?
-
at 6:31 AM
Katy Barzedor said...
You gotta check which side the flannel's buttoned on.
-
at 2:48 AM
Candy said...
Baby I hate to nag and nit pick, but you forgot one.
Professional Boner Donor.-
at 5:31 AM
Katy Barzedor said...
But is is professional if he's a donor? Wouldn't "professional" imply that there's a money exchanging hands?
Because there's only room for one $2 whore on my street corner.-
at 3:54 AM
Zombie_Flyboy said...
Hey! Hey! What luck!
I just happen to have $2.
If only I knew where that street corner was...
I used to want to be a mad scientist growing up, and I'd still love to be a special effects technician. I think that would be a ton of fun.-
at 12:10 PM
Katy Barzedor said...
Zombie - I had to beat the crap out of the other whores, but I have now secured the coveted corner of Bangor and Leaver as my own.
Well, truthfully, I make my $2 increments on the corner of Dort and Lippincott, Flint Whore Heaven, but Bangor and Leaver just sounds so much more...noble.
Just so you know, the $2 is due up front.-
at 4:13 PM
Zombie_Flyboy said...
Bucky, my mind is now suddenly filled with mental images of you running up and down the street, chasing prospective Jons, and screaming "TWO DOLLARS!" at them, ala the pyschotic paperboy from "Better Off Dead".
It's hot stuff.-
at 6:21 AM
Katy Barzedor said...
Indeed, Zombie, indeed.
For who can resist a shrieking whore, an inexpensive shrieking whore at that?
Go on, tee off, baby.