Saturday, September 03, 2005
Or current resident
Most of the mail that I get is shit like bills and junk mail from the local cash store. Every month I look forward to getting the new issue of Carcraft or 4-Wheel and Offroad, which I read almost immediately 5 or 6 times through. Fortunately, for me, to tide me over until new issues arrive there are the sale flyers from all the local hardware stores and tool depots. The usual places like Menard's, Sears, and Lowe's have weekly flyers, but we have another store here called Harbor Freight. It's kind of a discount hardware store. Alot of shit that was made in China, off-brand tools, and other odd items. It's the "odd items" that concern me the most. Take this for an example. They have a wrench set for six bucks and hammers for 3 bucks. Seems pretty normal. A reasonable price for average tools. Here's where things start getting weird. A 110 volt jackhammer for $400? Okay, next page. A wooden wagon wheel for $20. Hmm, for some reason I don't think there really is that big of a market for those anymore. Now here is where I grow concerned. On sale, forty percent off, an electric razor for six bucks. For some reason I don't think I would feel safe putting that against my face. I don't think I'd do it at full price, much less at 40% off. I can feel the razor burn and ingrown hairs just thinking about it. I will admit though, they do have great bargians alot of the time. Like 10- 100' rolls of electrical tape for 2 bucks. I bought three. 100 grease rags for 6 bucks. Yep, got two bags of those. Rolls of duct tape, and 10 packs of 3" cut off wheels for $2.50, oh my! It's almost too much to try and contain myself. Then 'it' came in the mail. A catalog from a magical place. Now when I say "catalog" we're talking at least an inch thick. It's something like 500 pages of glorious, shiny tools. The high quality name brand shit. Ooh yeah, the good stuff. It reminded me of the old McMaster-Carr catalogs that I used to get from the maintenence man at work. That's a serious book of tools and parts. About 5 pounds of serious. Thousands of pages. They got shit that I've never even could have imagined. It makes me grin just thinking about it.greasemonkey1320 at 4:45 AM
7 People who found a peppercorn
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at 7:06 AM
Katy Barzedor said... My advice? Lock the bathroom door when you read this catalogue.
And don't wrinkle the centerfold.-
at 5:00 PM
Candy said...
Honey, step away from the tool catalog, look over here! Boobies! Look at the boobies, your boobies, come closer to the boobies, they miss you.....
You do not need that, or that, no you dont need that either.
Ok, you do need that, that one is ok, but no you dont need that 3,000$ welding unit.
Hey honey look! I dropped something, I have to bend way way way over to pick it up, oh its so hard to bend over like this.....-
at 6:42 PM
greasemonkey1320 said...
Oh, it's hard alright!
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at 11:05 PM
Hazed said...
I would be more than happy to send you some of the umpteen-hundred tool, car, gadget magazines and catalogs lying around my house. Even though my husband owns every automotive tool known to man, apparantly, there are more that only he and his Snap-On dude know about. You and he should trade. And, yes, be careful of the centerfolds. They seem to excite most men, apparantly. I'll make sure to tear out the stained ones before I ship them to you...
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at 6:35 AM
Katy Barzedor said...
Should Jess and/or the cats worry that you have so much duct tape on hand at any given time?
And, that said, can you beat my waxer's price?-
at 3:09 AM
Katy Barzedor said...
Jesus, dude, are you still current resident?
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at 4:27 AM
greasemonkey1320 said...
What? It's only been 9 days.That's normal right?