Monday, November 07, 2005
Soon to be Cootie Free
I am currently recovering from a nasty sinus infection/cold type thing that forced me to miss two days of work. I hate missing work. I find it very annoying, like how when I stand up too fast now, I just about fall over. Like I'm getting light headed, except it hurts. I think being sick fucked with my equilibrium. Fortunately Jessica Rabbit always takes good care of me. Even when I'm a sick, cranky jackass. For that I am grateful. She is the best, and she is right about not going to work when you have a fever. Or, can't talk without coughing, no matter how stubborn I am.I did, however, learn many things this weekend. For instance, you can have 150 channels and there still won't be shit on. I thought it was just because I work nights and miss all the good shit. Nope. Turns out it's pretty much just lame suck ass shows and reality t.v. all the time. I went to turn to Tales from the Crypt, and guess what? Fucking denied! It was actually some annoying celebrity, red carpet/post show interview with some brain damaged celeb spouting their two cents about shit that has no real importance. Another thing that is annoying is how some of the channels will air the same damn episode six times a day. There were a couple interesting shows on though. One was about different elements that explode when mixed with water. I think they were just trying to find an excuse to blow up bath tubs and caravans. Death Race 2000 was on, but the presence of Sylvester Stalone proved to be unbearable. I tried to watch that movie Kung Pow, I think I gave up after thirty seconds or so. I was going to watch Mars Attacks, then I realized that the only scenes I really wanted to see were the ones with Martians cooking people with death rays and squishing people with giant robots. You know, all the good parts. I was surprised by the lack of car/how to shows this weekend. Normally there will be one or two on, but once again, I was denied.
I have discovered that if you don't post in a while people start running amuck in your comments. Going on about grammar fetishes and leaving links to improvised butt plugs. Man, I tell ya, wander off and the perverts run rampant. I think it deserve a round of spankings. I have also found that I am now getting comment spam. These guys must be getting desperate if they are leaving this shit on my posts. You think they would want to stick to high traffic areas, and not link them self on sites made up or the ranting of a deranged hillbilly. Fuckin' tards.
I have also begun watching my neighbors lately. The old people don't bother me too much, so I don't pay too attention to them. It's dumb ass trailer park gang banger wanna be's that I despise. You gotta watch your shit around these morons. I've already caught a couple of them leaving beer bottles in my yard. Man, I hate cleaning up after these assholes. Imagine the horror if they some how dented my truck. They might just meet my bucket of head shrinking sand if they keep it up.
Damn, is it me or did it get all old and crochity in here all of a sudden. Ahh, fuck it, I gotta go find my rocking chair and some rock salt.
greasemonkey1320 at 3:23 AM
8 People who found a peppercorn
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at 3:43 AM
Candy said... Baby I love you, even when your stubborn and cranky and need your rocking chair.
I will always take care of you, even if your grumpy, but dont think that last night was the last back rub you owe me after this weekend. heh
Plus, when are you fucking me in that truck damn it.....-
at 12:23 PM
Katy Barzedor said...
First: Dude, just fuck her in the truck. Don't make her ask again. It's rude to ignore this many perfectly reasonable requests.
Second: You know you want the buttplug information. You crave it. And wouldn't you like to use buttplugs in your shotgun as an alternative to rock salt. Wouldn't THAT surprise those goddamn neighbor kids on your lawn?
Third: When do the spankings commence?
I'm just askin', you know, for a friend...-
at 4:07 PM
Candy said...
Spankings commence tomorrow, for his birthday.
And totally what she said, just fuck me in the truck already you tease.
If you want pie you better drop them pants you fucker. Putting out pie!-
at 4:09 PM
Unknown said...
You know, I was going to comment, but after reading the other comments, it suddenly occurred to me... I really don't belong here... ;)
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at 10:01 PM
Katy Barzedor said...
Oh, come on CKelli - if you can put flames on the truck, surely you can hear about fluids a-flyin' in the back.
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at 11:20 PM
Katy Barzedor said...
...and I'm intrigued by this head-shrinking sand you keep in your garage.
Got any photos?
And since it's already your birthday in my time zone, HAPPY BIRTHDAY you pervo hillbilly!-
at 3:10 PM
Random and Odd said...
You know what this birthday boy needs on his blog?
FLAMES.
I'll have Shaun work on it tonight!-
at 5:16 AM
Madame D said...
HA!
Flames and spankings.
Doesn't get much better than that.
And have you fucked her in the truck yet?
C'mon already!