Friday, August 26, 2005
Self Amusement
The daily grind can be boring and cause the mind to wander.Wandering off to places far more interesting than the present point in time. Sometimes I find myself pondering new and interesting lines of work. Here are acouple of them.- Working in a kustom car shop. That one is pretty self- explanitory, considering my love of old cars and such.
- Being a repoman-"Most people spend their lives avoiding tense situations. The repoman spends his life getting into tense sitiations."
- Funny car driver. I'd take a front engine flopper over a rear engine dragster any day. It's a bit heavy on the cross country driving though. I prefer having a soft bed with warm hiney every night.
- Grave digger. This would be cool in title alone. Last time I checked it still involves alot of shoveling. That and I prefer working at night,which might make for some odd inquiries from passers-by.
- Lumberjack. How could you go wrong?Flannel, axes, and chain saws, just gotta watch out for the "lonely" lumberjacks.
- Special effects technician. Three words. Blowing shit up.
- Crime scene photographer. There is some fuckin' weird shit going on out there that alot of people never see or hear about.
- Demolition worker. Good for pent up aggression.
- Mad scientist. I don't think there are a whole lot of them left. That and how could anyone pass up the crazy twangin' white hair.
- Junkyard owner. I see endless possibilities with this one. I think this one would work well with most of the other jobs. Then I could eventually have every car I've ever wanted, and have a legal place to keep them all without pissing off the local code officers. Hell, my own personal car crusher? Nearly endless supply off parts and donor cars? Oh yeah, I think I could handle that.
greasemonkey1320 at 11:02 PM
Take Out
This is a prime example of how people obliderate my train of thought. The other day a hillbilly buddy of mine was helping work on some stuff. We had the radio on in the background, turned to some lame local station.Crappy rock and shitty commercials.Everything was normal until there was this ad for a local chinese restuarant.Now my buddy is pretty much deaf in one ear. Like 95decibels kind of deaf, but the other ear isn't as bad. So, I go to walk past him and he says to me"Did they just say fresh, hot chinese poon on the radio?" It stopped me dead in my tracks. I didn't have any answer for him, except for nearly shooting coffee out my nose. Makes you wonder what kind of tip you would have to give the delivery driver? Do you still get hungry 20 minutes later? Do the left overs still taste good the next day? It's stuff like this that leads to chronic brain farting.So if you ever see me wandering around chuckling to myself, now you know. You have been fore warned.greasemonkey1320 at 5:33 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005
Witness the voracity of the Weebs!
greasemonkey1320 at 9:11 PM
This is a a new one for Weebs.Sour cream and Onion Pringles
greasemonkey1320 at 9:03 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Miss Hermione has earned herself a nickname recently. I now refer to her as "short bus". You may be wondering how such an adorable puppy could get such a name. Well here's a hint. Tonight after we got back from the store, she grabbed an empty paper bag in her mouth and headed for the basement stairs. The whole time the bag keeps flopping over her eyes so she can't see where she's going. The puppy's got smarts. Add to that all the times I've caught her leaning against the front door, licking the glass, and there you have it.
greasemonkey1320 at 4:41 AM
We've been having some problems with our tub draining slow lately.Turns out it is draining, but not where it's supposed to. Instead it's going right down the basement wall that divides the laundry room from the lower bathroom.Unfortunately the pipes are 50 years old and most of it will have to be replaced. An added pain is the tight quarters all these pipes are in. You can barely see some of them that are between the first floor.Looks like its time to design an extra deep "plumbing wall" or an access closet of some sort.The arrow shows the source of the leak. It's basically a 6" pipe that is used as a hair trap. If you have one of these in your house be fore warned, they're just a place for rust and corrosion to collect and fuck up your pipes. This looks like it will be fun. Thankfully I have a saws-all!
greasemonkey1320 at 4:05 AM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Dum Da Dum Dumb
The events you are about to read are real. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.There is a guy I know that is nicknamed "Mr. Potatohead", for which there is good reason. Apparently he doesn't like it when bugs fly around and land on him. Fortunately, he has found a solution to this problem. He sprays his body with bug spray, which makes sense. So, I ask what kind of bug spray he's using. He hands me a can of Raid wasp and hornet spray! I say "So, you use this alot?" His reply "All summer long".It's like their slogan says "Kills bugs dead", and brain cells too! Seriously folks, you can't make up shit this retarded.
greasemonkey1320 at 3:59 AM